Cregte Me Free
o -l

Spring 2003

“There is no system, there are only people. Childser
they fall through fingors ™ - M

“It’s rather wonderful, I think,

when friends are made by pen and ink.
A piece of paper, blue and white,

someone decides that he/ she will write.
To someone he/ she has never seen,

who lives where he/ she has never been.
A pen becomes a magic wand,

two strangers start to correspond.
Not strangers long, but soon good friends,

just @ note, these letters they send.
How pleasant their exchange of views,

the comments on important news.
Two friends who live quite far apart.

can gladden much of each other’s heart,
Can nourish too each other’s mind.

with good thoughts of every kind.
1t’s truly beautifu, 1 think,

of friendships sprung from pen and ink.”

~Cesar Rodriguez
INGENUITY AND AWE...
Prison must be the most creatively stagnant environment in existence. With all of
the time that inmates bave on their hands, tqu’ll-n‘lhv:ltuimlomry
about writing poetry or thele” inds. % busy worrying about

whether or not a letter | i taday’y mail o whea the are going to

M_...u.-._.-.(g:ym by they can hear the

guy In the next cell g fevegls be avallable is
yety

inteaded for their soft M 6% b5 guy In the
et ol ovr sloning » il 0t o Pot b e svalable,
taking an every day llem ¢ "Mmg-mn-
threat wad s b Bk > out that
.uk.....rml these .!hlnfiht

" and takesthm vy, he gy thing)
thelr time getting Srom withip s confines. And
thesc tools do work. And th ek n

" of the stagaation of the

the outside world. I created it

and saylng, “that’s not our

mbuulmnwo‘wfl]fiqbym
T am awed by the attention given
lp-flhll-l-xl&w. T am awed by the
of some people’s work. I am awed by the
prisoners, have chosen on their own,
‘without the help of, and often the protests of, the system, to channel that
" ingenuity, channel that survivaligt insfinct In to pursuits of the self, of the higher
mind. They don’t do If because I gas them anything in the system. It might look
good on paper or It might not, it might carn them money o it might not,but there
are plenty of them that st down ‘wrlte or draw for hours for thelr
because the time could be passed in
caylng In and it s their

=
The Greening of the Soul

By Charles “Tom" Brown

“The early moming rain felt refreshing as 1 walked around the
track of the prison yard. 1 took a deep breath of the crisp morning air
and fel the gentle touch of the wind and the cool drops of rain.

Although the landscape around me is bare of bushes, rees. and
flowers. 1 am finding that beauty-opens to me unexpectedly. All that is
required is that [ open my senses and be fully present in the now
moment.

Spring will soon be showing its face. Tt represents a rebirthing,
“The land is greening itself here and there and is awakening from a long
winter sleep.

Nature has a way of holding up a mirror so we can see mere
clearly the ongoing processes of growth, renewal, and transformation in
our lives. Tt asks us to be awed by the familiar... to see with fresh
vision... lest our lives become a hopeless routine. To see life's
magnificence and startling diversity (even in a barren prison yard) is our
challenge as mindful human beings.

Uife is quite apart from the human connections we easily
acknowledge through sight and sound. - How litfle we understand
throush mere words. how much more is possible through opening all of
our senses. Through our awareness of the kinship with all of hfe, we
open new dimensions hrough shich we behold the wonder of it all.

Just s the bud yearns for more fo come, so does the human
heart. Qur hearts thirst for beauty and wholeness... for the ultimate
connection with the Divine. Once we have experienced this, our lfe is
changed; our soul has been ireened, Tolerance and compassion will
suide our very being.

Since springtime is a season of hope, a promise of fruit and
fullnéss, of the more (o come, may this senson bring us closer to the
sreening of the soul!

Collected essavs written by this author are available throngh Create Me Free
RURNED OUT
Ry Karhryn

Lheand the whispers long before it hecame an issne. [ vas given
admonishments and warnings for months.“If yon keep working so burd.
youHl bur owt.” Ancl then | reached @ point where 1 thought I'd done just
that. reacked a lovw below what 1 had thonght hod been my losest. bt 1
discovered that it wosn't that ar all.

Afier a sei
home. Many: things fed up 1o that decision. Leaving was one of the hardest
things I've ever dove. hut staving would have heen harder. and I didn’t

ies of struggles. 1 chose 1o leave my job at the group

have the strength for that 1 con offer many explanations and exenses and
ustifications and reasons. bt what it hoils dows 10 is really simple: I <o
things that 1 couldn’s stomach and conldn’t change, and I couldn't kecp
watching them. 1 was hecoming a ool that aided a system 1 didn’t belicve
in. 1075 hard t0 know where (0 set yonr own personal howndarics and cven
harder 10 know when the situation yon're in is ontside of them. Yon knone
that ther

sands of “now ” and then the winds of time come along and canse that line

@ certain line you'll never cross. bt vou draw that line in il

to weave arovnd. The line hecomes hard 1o sce throngh the storms. and
You're ot entirely sure if von've approached it or crossed it

Many things happencd that led vy 0 my leaving a job that 1 loved.
Tworked too many hours in @ row without a vacation, and admirredly. 1 gor
tired. There were confiontations and days of fiustration. There were kids

that were making my heart hreak. But mostly. it was that. af some poin. |

realized that I conldn't fight it anymore. The sysiem is wha it is. ond vorr
con cither swork within it and make smalt changes here ond there. or v
con’t. The prople that want 10 really change it don’s last long wihin it

The system perretuates the sysiem,
1 ofien have people tell me that the system needs people like me in it.
undersiand what those people mean when they make that proclamation. 1
Jought hard for the kids and tried 10 bring them a better example of how 1o
be human in a machinated world, or at least 10 bring them better few
Hours during their days. The kids do need that. I coped with a lot of guilt
upon leaving, wishing that I had been a stronger person, that 1 had been
able 10 be there for the kids despite the flaws in the system, that I could
have worked within its mess without being made a mess of myself by i.
The kids may need that, it's true, but the system does not. The
system is designed for people that aren’t designed like me. That makes me
neither better nor worse. 1t just simple fact.

What I've realized is that I didn’t burn out at all. I was never
meant (o0 work within the system, and it’s a good thing that I burned as
bright as I did while I could. wouldn't have been able 10 live with myself
if I'd have given it any less than my all. Maybe I made an impact, we
usually do, just by being the kinds of people we believe the world should be
Ppopulated by, but that's not the point. The point is that we have to live the
way that we believe. Sometimes it works within the things we want 1o be
doing and sometimes it doesn't, but we have 10 be true 10 who we are.
There are complications and messes that we get ourselves tangled up in, as
we pay attention to what other people are saying, what we think we should

" do, what we want to do, what we are doing, what everyone else is doing.
With all of that noise going on, sometimes it’s hard to hear the heart

" beating, leading you o the way you know is right for you. But it is beating
there, and it’s importani that you tune in to it. Live as you believe. Or you
can't ask anybody else to do the same.

Bum brightly.
Uere | lie
Dustin Dillen
Lere 1 ie
Resing in silence
Abserbed in nothing
Past filled with violence
1Es a little too quiet
My ears are aching
The music has ended

The melody everlasting
Shome is not all bad
Alesson in humslity
Being fral in the mind

Thats tha werk of our great enlity
There is no room for tears.
Ho room for sadness
Noendcinsicht
No bottom Lo Ihis madness
“The door Just opened
Flecding all. things with Usht
In comes 2 seul
Turning everything hack toniaht

1 scems fike the words are right there but 1 just can't quite grasp them. The
intensity of my cmotions sccms 10 be blocked. barricaded by some wall, not
allowing words (o pour forth (0 cxpress how I truly feel. Some sort of emotional.
maybe spiritual, mental type of block. but there's a nagging insistence to pour out
all that is held within. to somebedy. somewhicre, or just on this piece of paper. as
way 10 get it all out, perhaps just for sclf-analyzation or the assassination of all (hc
negativity and pain that scem to thrive off of my soul. consuming my fife a5 »
wholc and lcaving only fragments of the real me (o try and surface and show some
sort of poodness, so | can just accept myself and fecl some sor of sobriey from th.
wocs fhai scem fo have me in some sort of drunken mind-sia of confusion. pain
and madness. And the drcams tha once scd o uplift me, now scem 1o be. not for
me, but against me. like cvery other thing that I've cver foved... And now, even
the process of usingz words (o mtioalize my discase that would Kill
. and such a d iendi

somcliow I could just et loose and frec my
the burdens that scem 10 weigh me farther in to madness. confision and sadness.
bt the words that used o be iy frecdom of escape are no longer with me.
~Stephen Rartle
MY ADDICTION
Roberto Teadore Hoare

From as far back as 1 can remember, my addiction. in a very rcal
senso, made me a slave to an obscssion, a desperation, a hunger that no
rational. logical or well meaning person could dismantle. It made mc.
terrificd of people. 1 thought 1 didn'’t belong in this word and certinly. |
didn’t think 1 deserved to be in it

With panic as my constant companion, my days and nights bocame
mad with those thoughts fucled by cocaine. Siéep was rarc and oftcn
noneistent. When I did try to sleep, | had to face the voices and visions.
Dark. terrifying voices and visions ke those portrayed in fables and fairy
tales.” Overcoming those insomniac cpisodes bocame habit. 1 sicpt at times.
but T rarely remember it being restful. 1 remember the voices and visions:

Sometimes. in my mind. I return to a moment in a dark bathroom in
my apartment. 1 recall the cold porcelain tub I sat on with a razor in onc
hand, with just cnough fight from the flickering strect light. trembling with
fear, on the cdge of choosing life or death. | fel again the scrape of the
razor and how just a lttle more pressure would have opened my veins,

1 retum often because 1 nced something, as a reminder, fo realize
what cxactly stopped me from extinguishing the hell of confision 1 was
expeiencing. | am no preacher of religion. but it was as if God has reached
through the darkncss that was consuming me, to gently lift a comer of the
blado, just cnough for me to sce and wonder past that despai.

My dangers and destructive love affair with cocaine had become
unbearable. T was in so deep that the world, as | knew it, had narrowed. 1
ot that there was nowhere else to g0 or nowhere elsc I would fit in.
Someyherc, somchow, bencath the addiction, beyond the visions, there laid
in bad at night a child who constantly asked God to take him home because
his world had become too frightening,

My world becamo filled with deceit and uncontrollable behaviors.
1 id things 1 am not proud of in order to foed my addiction, Currently
am a condemned man. to the California Department of Corroctions, becaus
of those behaviors. I've lost not only my freedom but the only woman |
have cver loved, and 1 am left to mend the scars and pain of my two
beautiful children who, for awhile, shall remain fatherlcss

Even though | have chained the voices and visions to the back af
my mind with anti-psychotic medication, the system which could felp has
forgotten rehabilitation and in a scnse. locked mo away to be warchoused.

Tt is said that adversities introduce a man to himself, If so, I have
come to aceept that | will always be someonc who fell in love with a drug.

one who saw and accepted it as his savior. I live with that emotion every
day in this concrete box.

Reluctantly, I try to look at myself clearly and clinically. 1 tell
‘myself that 'm going to have to live with my fear and that chilling feeling
that T and the rest of the world were horrible mismatched. 1 know Ill have
10 live with something clse as well. 1 will always be vulnerable to the
element that, at least for a litle while, gave me the disturbed illusion of
being the unfit, missing picce of the puzzie of the world.

‘With much luck, today is good. 1 fecl it to be onc of those days
‘when I would love to start over at fourteen, when all my adolesceat dreams
emerged with stil time to become reality. Clearly and in detail, what
continucs to frighten me, arc the nostalgic notions of my past. That
substance stole my then-innocent soul only to replace it with hopelessncss,
uncontrollable behaviors and dependency for i to function.

In my situation, I am forced to make of that fear a friend, to
reassure my terrorized child within that those notions are but an unarmed
fecling, not an impeding and imposing weapon to immobilize me and will
leave us alone if we pay it no ruminating mind.

T have become strong for the frightened boy within, to counsel us
both and try to extinguish the memorics of my addiction. For even as
childhood is goue, and boybood only memories, the fear that made my
‘adulthood an inextinguishable hell will always be present.

Sometimes, oaly a man remains, finally fearless, as | was meant to
be, that kind and loving father of his inner child. But yet, somewher in the,
depths of my soul, T know that without proper rchabilitation and self-will,
that element is but waiting to appear again.

“The reason 1 write is not to obtain sympathy from anyone, nor is its
purpose to seck forgiveness or to show remorse, because, in reality, only
God can forgive and show me mercy. I write only to share my addictive

* past with the hope that others may come o understand what addiction is
really like, and the reality of its effects.

‘ My deepest sympathies go to those who have traveled through the
realm of addiction and found no retum. As for myself, I am blessed
beyond what I truly deserve, for cven though, at preseat, I am warchoused
in an uncaring system, 1 can take advantage of time to pursuc a colloge
education and become a better person, to one day five lfe as we all should.

o
My Cellmate and |

Panchol

oy sonl
Roverherate

Throngh the halls
Of my mind
Resounding
Feloing
My soul
My sonl
e demands to be
Setfree
Kicking and punching
‘Scrntehing and claw iz

Tearing and rippiny:
Atthe walls
OF his etermal
Incarceration
Veand |
Are ot one.
There s my mind
1
There is my soul
e
We share the same cell
The hody
T
He isnot
e wants out
Tobevome:
Hisown
Fatity
Again
"
He conld just leave
do
Leve
b free
Ao
Bt
tm ot

‘The keeper
Iy soul

ellmate
The walkoffe s gting out of hand
Faded dreans s nighnereshat ocsur
The face | 100 are noting bt ber
Fopelsssusicns of a s ot of place
Thought o llusions sppear

Wiout race

“Tio Wesver

Intotice
Luke Richeson

Lonesome s relocting o the past
“and tlove T wait

T Lam e o ot
Fouryeasarady | have aid

Gone fom it nd ocked away

Yo thecrime wascommited, bt ok by me
And claming my insocence s ot what [ meen
“Take look at th laws win by S bungry eads
“They conpire o kcp a good man down
"Notjust npriscn but in it

Hope whaiever s around

Funds are short o th istce begins
Planning our gae creating ourcad

1 b 0 sucosed when il i ll thy ever It us s
‘Surounding us ol vith this deviih groed

“The wallare ick s geoing control.

Thei budge spent frevr, taking s toll-

st inmy ool hiking of ways 0 help.
Notingmy thoughis s acing i sialth

" wrd gt ut 1 plaed o k.

Voo can betyour s hey'd i ew aw
‘Aodhar'sa fat!

\Q
Cage within a Cage
Steve Fowler

It is a small six by nine cage, walled on all sides in stonc. The beast within
stalks and paces its every fenath and width, s keeper comos occasionally
1o sling food through a small flap in the iron door. You can sce in its evcs
that if wishes to bite the hand that feeds it. An instinct that focds off of
anger, “Free Mel”™ Its soul sercams in rage. The cyes smolder while its
heart bums with a fire that is all-consuming and refuses to be quenched
Pacing.... The oyes scarching... stalking.... Stalking... “Let me out”
Scrcaming in desperation. Its soul in agony. Burdened by the weights that
topple the scales of justice. It waits. Paticnce comes in abundance to thosc
that realize that lifc is painfully slow at times. The cage door opens
“RUN! Frecdom at last”™ “1'm free” Running.... Finally freed from the
cag. only 10 find, sliding 1o a halt. yet another cage, just larger, once again
we wai

Releascd from confinement at least. It is like bursting from o
cocoon. bom with hopes of new beginnings only to find that the world is
smaller than anicipated once you leam to fly

The rest yas needed. The solitude enjoyable.

1 find myself overpowered by modes of thinking that overpower me
in my dad to day ramblings. They sccm fo grow of their own volition
Living a 1ife of their own with me as their vehicle. A victim of posscssion
and the only exorcist available is solitude. Solitude rcins them in and | am
able to redefine myself outside of the boundarics of circumstance. The
calm i the storm 5o to speak. Untouched by the outer chaos. One in the
same creation but on two different plancs of existence. | have to remember
this face when my patience reaches its fullest cxient and 1 realize 1 am,
unable to get out of my cage. The fime docs me good. but | guess being a
social creature at birth, it wears you dawn ot to have someone to talk fo
For awhilo anyway. there is a bursting process that destroys the fension and
you are able to relax and “ride out”. It truly amazing the number of
changes your mind will go through in order to adapt to the moment. It will
make adjustments to each minute depending on what you arc doing at the
time. It's a fantastic mechanism! His only problem is the fact that it's
habitual.IF something works in most instances, it il becomo a permancnt
fixturc for gencral purposes. especially gap fillers. “I'm not doing anything
riht now so Tl deink o cup of coffe.” “m bor. 1l smoke a cearetc
strossed out, 'l drink a cup of coffee and smoke a cigarette”. 11
erazy. 1F you don't regulate and control your mind, which is your control

center. it will continue with actions that are self-destructive. And it will do

this so subily that you don’t realize it. It will change before you know it
And you'll sit i its aRermath wondering what happened. The shift from
one cnd of spectrum to the other end happens in degrees and if we aren’t
aware of this, we don't get to experience each color. I guess we experieace
a spectrum’s colors at difforent times. 1 can't fathom what happens after
we have the pocketful of crayons. We could do what we wanted with them,
but usually, we do nothing, preferring to leave the world colored as it is.
Some people choose to color it with less than a complets spectrum. 1 think
that’s the world's problem now.

So many of us struggle day to day with ourselves and we are forced
to deal with another’s problems because they can’t control their mind or
actions. Preconceived ideas of right and wrong and truth and lie. I have
come to see that it is not our lives that cause our suffering and turmoil it is
the interaction with cveryone clsc’s. We experience everyone else’s
problems and that is the source of ours.

Regardless of “justncss”, prison gives lessons;, it makes you
reassess yourself. You leam where your Lmitations arc. A complete
stripping away of that which you call buman. A reminder of loncliness that
is a result of being labeled, “the botiom of the pile”. Humanity's waste. A
Society’s excuse to exercise power over will, 1o control your very speech,
thought and action simply by making it right t0 by creating a law that says
so. I's a painful experience that ono should not forget. It's the expericnce
of not having control over your own lfe, as if everything were out of your
hands completely.

‘With the simple privilege of being able to take a walk in the forest
comes the realization that there in lies the responsibility to consider. You
must conform 1o society to maintain that right or privilege. When
considering the graces of the masses, the rules arc simple. The respect for
others and their possessions, personal and property. What society lacks is
tolerance for anyone “different” but they look at the shell and cannot see it
for what it truly is.

No one can really know “who” a person is because all they see is

. the result of all that. No matter how hard many try, they can ouly sce skin
decp. To see the core, you almost have to be that person. There is not test
like the one needed and no one can actually say they've seen it. That
knowledge is beyond us. The closest one can come is called friendship and
that i hard to find. Friendship allows that comfort of being able to reveal
themselves. That is the oaly way you can know if a person is really good
or not. That's a whole different feel than to be the brunt of somconc
labeling you bad. That's the expericnce of prison — knowing you are no
one to everyone else.

-
1 puree onto paper.
Sceds of capabilty o pro-bce
And o resarrect
New life
And concentraed thousht
Sublime passige escapes
Living and breathing matt -
Inthe end of evoluion
Weall cease 0 exist
Awd physiclly dic
Tt on pulp with pen
ice and achicve
The nesus of immortality
Tiveon
On o much higher plain
My intellect soars
And eretes

teems
With prose of|
Poctic emotion
Asadapt to
T thereal insight
And understanding.
Understanding that
Trondens spirits
And expands cmot
To extol
Fremity
love
Connection
Hindsight
Insead of heing desultory
1flow with direction
Direction of frcedom
Direction of open space
O emotion.
Solpurge
Frustration
Angst
Feeling
Depth
On'to paper
Bocmse
In the physcal
We die
Bt words give us
Tmmortality

“Dontate Purton
DAYDREAMS AT MIDNIGHT
Chanin Clark

‘The fog creeping across the ground
Covering Mother Earth like a handmade quilt
“The stars dancing and pulsing
Echoing the wishes made on a fallen brother
Crickets singing their songs of love
Hopeful kisses sent on the wings of the wind
The watchful cye of the fall moonlight
Singing the sky with kisses and passion
“The sounds of silence 50 loud that
Peace and tranquility encompass my heart
Life so beautiful in its raw form
No blinders or veils, it just is
‘Time escaping to begin again
My daydreams in the midnight hours

o
THE ROLES WE INHABIT
By Kathryn

A few nights ago, | stayed up until five in the morni
talking to a group of new friends. We had been at an open mi
poetry reading together, at a local café, and gotten involved in a
canversation about politics and music and philosophy and society
and religion and nothing at all really. We laughed a lot, especially
once the first hint of sunshine was starting to tease us into that giddy
delirium that only comes with all-night conversations. One of the
things 1 found so funny then was that one of the guys with us is a
high school science teacher. ‘

It made me laugh to think of this, because I never thought of
my high school teachers as doing these sorts of things. It's not as
though T had the illusion that my teachers did nothing besides teach
1 had some concept that they did other things, even political activist
things, that there were reasons that they originally became teachers.
But I guess that was one of those things that 1 knew in my head but
still couldn't picture really happening. It put things in to an
interesting perspective for me to ponder this. It made me think of all
that we don't see because we are so busy looking at the roles of the
people that we are interacting with.

We play so many roles in our lives that we often don't even
think about the implications of the role itself. We just live it without
considering it. We are so many things to so many people. We are
daughters or sons or fathers or mothers, we are employers and
emploees and students and teachers, and just by the nature of the
Tabels, the Iabels that we aren't even thinking about as we tack them
on 10 ourselves and others, just by nature of what the relationship
itself is, we are confined to those roles in many ways. We take on
the role of a certain job, and no matter how hard we may try to be
whoever we are outside of the role, we are the role.

This makes me think of my work at the group home. 1 think
of the roles that I played there. The kids trusted me. They told me a
Tot of things that they weren't telling other staff that worked there
But, T was still “staf”. 1 was still the adult. And I'm certain that
there were things that they didn’t tell me just because | was in that
role. Just like there are things T couldn’t tell them because they were

the kids I worked with. I couldn’t tell them that the system sucks and
that it’s futile to fight it. I couldn’t tell them that I didn’t believe in
the things that I had to tell them to do, because, of course, if I did,
then they wouldn’t do them, and then we’d have chaos and they’d get
in more trouble than the act itself was worth.

1 couldn’t tell them all of the reasons that I left. I miss them
insanely, and it hurts to know that, in their little minds, I'm probably
just another person who said she cared and then left. There’s no way
to explain to them that I left because I cared. I left because I couldn’t
be good for them, because the system wouldn’t let me be me and
being anything but me wouldn’t have worked for them.

There are things that they can’t understand because they
haven't experienced enough to understand it yet. There are also
things that they can’t know about me just by virtue of the role that I
played to them.

1 wish that we could all examine the roles that we play and
what effect they have upon how we treat the people in our lives.
wish that we could step out of those roles for a moment or two. If T
am inside of my labels, I am not likely to go strike up a conversation
with an officer or with a Republican or with a religious zealot. T
assume that by the nature of our labels, we are going to conflict. But
that's sad, because there’s a high probability that we do have
something in common. We like the same band or we eat at the same
restaurant or we both believe that the impending war is pointless.
There is something there, and it’s strange how we choose to see what
is different about us, what divides us, rather than seeing all that we
have in common.

‘When we see ourselves as a role, it becomes hard to
remember that each interaction is just a person dealing with a person.
It's not a guard and prisoner, it’s not an employer and employee, it's
- not a student and teacher. It's just people. People who probably

have a lot in common with each other if they step outside of their
roles. We aren’t going to transcend our roles every moment of the
day. But at least, if we can be aware of them, if we can remember
that the person who just cut us of in traffic or who runs with an
enemy gang is just another person with a life a lot like ours, we
might be able to inject a little more humanity in to the roles that we
inhabit.

\%
Relentless Prison Noise
Chris Salazar

Most of it i incoherent chatter
While the rest is indecipherable clatter
105 like a menacing slithering snake,
Trying to abways keep vou awake
Strugeling 0 keep it ot of vour head,
But it somchow always makes its way to vour hed
IUs not alway s prisoner-produced.
Flalf the time its officer induced
You wait for it to go away
165 1010 avail. it keeps coming vour way
There’s no choice but 0 resian to its torture.
IS part of prison. just the way of its culture.
Eventually. sou grow aceustomed to its hell
Yeah. yon hear it now. it's already in your cell

Colors and Numbers.
Derrick Strong,

We g0 by stafes in here. Each state has a different number. Mine
is 041, that's the last three digits of my ID number. 041 is for Minnesota
008 is Arizona. 051 is New Mexico. So we know who is from where and
who their people arc in here. But eversbody has respect for cach other in
here. It don't matter about your race. The federal system is a whole lot
differ from the state system. At least that's what I've heard. I've never
been in the state system. We do go by what race we are to know who we
sit with. Like me. I'm Native American and I'm from Minnesota, so Il sit
with the other Native Americans from Minnesota, We also have to live in
the same cell as our race. but the homeboy thing don't take effoct in that
situation. By me being Native American. 1 can live with either Native
Amcricans or Mexicans. sometimes whites or Asians. Evervhody trics to
v with their own race. though

GG LIFE
Chis Saharar

What it sbout “gng Ife” that's 10 aluing and entiis, that drows and pull 5o any ids 1o
comeit thee e o 3 ord f dserder snd desrctin? That compels them o dofy thet paents?
That erable them to becure darspectul and bellgrent touads these that care sbut thee?

How can t 5 esly stea yeuth from ther nrvol es, ivehing them i poth of el
activtes, aeohal and drg wae? What docs I pasess that wohes it 3 poverfl ragnet? What does
the merbesip prosde that inclnes and dspases i o sell hee et deth o neacention?

Tt's » fascinating snd sddictive Hestyle e any atber; it impairs your better julgment.
A\ Mt tha phacesyou n fntany werd and tell you, “this b good”. A ety tht rbe you
of o of the atber i b bt offr, wich you il nver oo or dhcser, A ety that
cominces a0 sblgates you to phaee Bameboys 3od reighbebood befor forly and ilfends, Yoo
core to bllere hat your heoeboys ARE your oy snd that they wll shags be there - bl -1
the way through, 3 bond that ne one con break. You'lfid ut very quichly abuat that leyalty wben
ye gl

1's regretable b you Tl dey these whe tdy do fore o, You poy o oind e theic
s bice nd lst fn a0 atfempt te et you trght, These weet il bat you over snd over
agin e you'e iting . pien o ying 3 boapitl sfte bing severely beten, stbbed o sot.
Yo'l be wishing that you had taken heed of these wbe cared ensugh to take the time to talk to you.

Such 3 strng force 1 o that 1 crables you to put your e on the line for o street or
Meck, A foree that coen you to posibly Bl svaher of your oue, rescing in He sentonce
inpisanrent.

Let e sy this: o rony, thel “envimnsent” detives the to sng-He, for prkops
i bl N, Seme: even o fiod the lyaly snd carsradsie they desire, tht they othende
wea o ke Some even g on o b morel s, That's low percentig, thsgh. ' st
worth the chance for these whe are drawn to this lfe who sre HOT bom in to that ervimnment.
Sumeho, it finds them and inevitably secures 85 sl 3 with the otbers, Thy come fom guad
bumes snd selruningly s prpared to i that op forthelesewfocnd pacion. B soplessnt path o

T tell o bats s shang nd enticing sbost hong He:the felng of seceptanes o
st the folng hat yo bl o sereting, thatyo s n dged by b o o, where you
come fom, o1 you scsnaric puitin, you get. prticton, yo attin sngue adbealve feling of

ety e svrns e, bechae you b yor erebeys ot your depacl v fvad repect
ot yon vever experienced before, 1 sty beesves exciing t b te v, deying the
Pl A nah g o't get smbere e,

Al thee fctors that T v descrbed e the resuns bebind it suevss, Kid s
srnteed thee st peeds f fe ithin 3 gng. s o, bt s e, ong o &3
devlapoent of vany, vany years. Our own sncesters Killd each other over the same things we do
o toitony 3 prer, o o you erdite i attem. hat ofets s rng? Core slong snd
o the many vbo bve sttespted to dvse 3 ltin, T there se?”

o
‘Examining the Ar...
‘The reasons behind the symbols in
Ain't No Love in The Heart of a City

Ain’t no Love.

This theme was taken from the meatalty that city life is very fast
and dangerous. The city and the people ther in general have no “love” or
o not carc about their fellow man. It's: “I will get you before you get me”.

This way of life will lead to smiling now... and crying later. This is
represented by the masks; one is smiling, the other crying.

‘The highway leading into the tunnel shows that t's a fast lane that leads o
the city... and the tunnel can and will swallow you up. The highviay leads
1o the city with no pity ~ D-town, which is what the prison society calls
Dallas, TX ~ my home. The skyline is also of Dallas, where there is 1o
love. It will eat you up if you give it half a chance.

Below the cye in the clouds, right hand bottom comer, we have the
hourglass representing doing prison time s a result of the criminal lifestyle
that comes with that fast lane living. We have a diamond, spade and pair of
dice representing life as a daily gamble when you fll in to the
‘wrongdoings. The prison tower and fence with razor are the society that
you'll find yourself in if you get caten up by the big city. That is the least.
The most is death row — tombstone in the wisp of smoke. The ultimate
prics of lif in the city with no love in the heart of it

In the clouds, there is a female looking down into the city. This is the one
that will be left alone when the city cats you up and you end up in prison,
or worse, on death row. The rose is beauty... as is the beautiful charra that
rose.... that is above her Mexican sombrero.

The moon/ sun combo is piece that 1 needed to put in there as a reminder
10 all that it might be dark and night now, but the sun will shine again as
scen by the sun with the shades. The moon also holds special meaning to a
very special friend... you know who you are... As the moon always is in
the skies, so I think of you daily... nightly
Al Eyes on Me
Wade Drvper Hampton

Tomee fivedin o world that wos valiont and frec, T wanted nothing i 1 bt all exe
Now Hive inan $x10 cell. By selincompetance, I've ercated
Someli and forth n ths cell
‘safler life - heaven or hell”
5 n lfe that | fear deserse death,
0 e vour forgivencss with my very last breath
Lknons my fate i at the hand of Chiast my lord,
Tt i1 love by and abide by. do 1 die by the sword?
ere i for cars at a time, and wonder i vain f those eves will e b mine
Wiho can st when this world s full of i
and white beautifileycs are foll of deceivine 1<

0 pose his estion until 1 let free. How Tad ko | really sant sl et o

ey
The Place
Kenneth Michael Gardner

My cell is like a deep dark womb
Lsitin silence

‘The lights have been put out.
Within this womb. T can create life
Or destroy it

This is
The Place!

1ts almost a tomb

When I was only a child, a baby

1 remember being placed in cribs

The bars were all around me

‘They were made of wood and plastic

The world was taking place around me

The only way I could escape was to go over the top!
Now I reside in a prison body

This is
The Place!

1'am heart. The iron bars are ribs.

T've memorized my prison identification number

Everyone is told to do that coming in

However, now I can’t remember my social security number
Which was my first prison number

So actually, the only other number

Il have. will be my toe tag number

| won’t remember that one either

T'll be dead.

This is the place.

aw
Times of Truth
Ted Earl Severeid

We spent countless days
Hoping and praying that you’d turn your life around
‘Momma, why’d you leave us hanging
When we needed you most?

T know we were a pain in the ass,

Crying every time you walked out the door.
Did you ever consider
Not leaving us with a babysitter?

“Cause we needed you more than
You needed your next hit of dope.

You never put us first
You always put us last
Sitting on your ass
Fiending for your next hit
And when your husbands used to hit you and beat you.
‘Who was there for you?

We were.

And when you needed a shoulder to cry on,
‘Who was there for you?

We were.

Even though you treated us bad,

‘We still feit for you.

You raised a handful of kids alone.

You were our mom and our pops
And for that, we give you our props
But face your fears
Because even though you treated us like shit
We'll always be there.
JUSTIFIED ANGER.
A movie review and the resulting thoughts
By Kathon

In 197\ there was an experiment done through Stanford
University, in which a group of study volunteers was divided in to two
different groups. labeled “guards™ and “prisomers’ and put in to a
simulated prison environment. The study was originally planned to Last
several weeks but had to be terminated after only six days because
the “guards™ had become so sadistic that continuation of the study
would have Led to extreme violence.

There s currently a German film playing In the independent
theaters, called Das Cxperiment” which Is based upon this study. It
dramatizes “what could have happened if” the experiment continued. and
it does so in a highly realistic way. It is the most horrific movie that |
have ever seen. There are words that you assume that you know the
meaning of. until you then experience something that embodies the
meaning so accurately that you suddenly realize that you never truly
understood it until that moment \Vatching this movie. | suddenly
understood the oft-used description: “chilling”

The photography is amazing. Additionally, foreign fims are
always interesting, because they dont necessarily use artificially
attractive actors in Lead roles, so the pesple within the movie ook like
people that we all know. That in itself drove the point home. But
more than these effects, | found myself affected by the similarities
between the “what could have happened if” and the reality of what
actually does happen In America’s prisons today. | found myself
affected by the fact that so many people are ignorant of or indiferent
to the lives affected by the prison industry.

| Left the movie sad and scared and angered. | dont often get
angry anymore. There isnt much of a point. It never gets anyone
anywhere and Is generally self-destructive. | believe that anger has to
be let go or channeled in to productive outlets. It serves no other
purpose. But for a short while, upon coming out of that theater |
secthed with the passion of anger.

Anger due to the fact that the roles plaved out bebween
quards and prisoners have been researched, documented and then
promptly. ignored. Anger because what is unjust has become accepted

It is accepted that humiliation and subjugation are means of
ganing control n the prison emvironment. It is accepted that feer i
prevalent. It is accepted that diisions amena the inmate population are
purposely exacerbated, generally by race but not always. to discouraae
uity within the prison system. It is accepted that there i
adequate medical care for inmates. It is accepted that people i
cells are routinely raped

And none of this is acceptable

It is not acceptable to give a group of pesple power ovar
another group of people. and then Let them run away with that power
and never hold them accountable for actions and reactions caused a »
result of their abuse of that power. It is rot acceptable that money
can buy freedom. It Is not acceptable that prisons foster more crine
than they solve. It is not acceptable that these things are obvious
g ianored

In the 1970's, when the original. experiment was done. there
were Less than 200,000 pecple in America’s prisans. There were
people then who knew that was too many. Today. there are over 2
million. Things have only gstten worse. The flaws inherent in the
system are allowing the system to breed those flaws. No. aner
doesnit solve that and es, Ive let it ao and started. already, channeling
it in to something productive.

But Lets ot foraet that we SUOULD be anary about this.

No Choice
By Brian Miller

1 feel the restrainis that society brings
The sorrow, pains and the extreme chaos it gains.
Why do we “the misunderstood” stand sccused of theso things
Labeled as incorrigible then locked up in chains?

Is that any way 1o show us wrong from right?
To lock us in dungeons never again to see the light?
“Why!” is all I can cry and scream
Tam in Hell on carth and cannot awaken from this dream

‘Theso bars, tho violeace, al the corrupted rulcs,
Al the folks, Lords, Kings, the hate groups, and the fools
There was a time we expericnced love, never knowing such hato
A time we felt laughier and smiled, but now it’s too late

Bohind these walls there are no jokes 5o take nothing as fake.
Kauckes up at alltimes, never knowing when your own lifc may be at stake
You are never relaxed nor are you truly sure of what you feel
‘The moment you wake your fears again become real

Everyone tries to be the best, not realizing their faults
1t's a goal 10 be the hardest and strongest with the most venomous assaults
‘There is nothing but a lot of hurt, hate-fallen souls in bere
‘You have no choice in life but to Stay Strong and Face Your Fears

Reality
By Jon Marc Taylor

As child,
Thnew frustration
‘As an adolescent,
1 felt anger
Asan adult,
1leamed to hate
In the bosom of violeace:
1 found an clusive comfort
L have seeh the il Afi{ifii
T haveseen the grip of death sind
1 have séen interesting flgfih
s T have seen good tilnes ind
k1 Fhivéseen bid & and
. -1 Have seen dirtie Ny hy

T hilve Scen the red suin rise and
Uhaveséen the orangésun set and
1 have seen the fill moon and
T have seeil the eclipsé of the moon and

B (VIhmem «r.«%m...m
X4 Vhave séen dic IRt fowers of i

/i, T have seen frec people roaming around And
i, I have seen humans locked- cage and ¥

T havi‘seen many injustices J&.z m - P 3
And 1 have seertfieople condehn

And I have séén thewmo

Ry
'WASTED TIME
Robbie Amold

‘The time that | wasod is my biggest regret
‘Spent in these places I will never forget
Just sitting and thinking sbout the things that I've done:
The crying, the laughing, the hurt and the fun

Now it’s just me and my hard driven guilt
Bohind a wall of emptiness I allowed 1o be built
T'm trapped in my body, just wasting to run
Back to my youth with ts laoghier and fun

But the chase is over and there’s o place to hide

I'm scared, alone and stuck in this place

‘Now memories of the past flash through my head
‘And the pain s obvious by the tears that I shed
Task myself why and where [ weat wrong.

1 guess I was weak when I should have bea strong

Living for the drugs and the wings | had grown
My feclings were lost, afraid to be shown
‘As Tlook at my past, it’s 50 easy to see
‘The fears that I had, afraid to be me

1just live for the day when I"ll get a new start
‘And the droams I still bold deep in my heart
Thope I can makeit, | a least have to try
Because I'm heading towards death and I don’t want to die

1°d pretend 10 be rugged, 5o fast and so cool
‘Whea actually lost like a blinded old fool
I’m getting 100 old for this tiresome game
Of acting real hard with no sense of shame

I’s time that [ change and get on with my life
Fulfilling my dreams for a family and wife
What my future will hold I really don’t know

But the years that 've wasted are starting fo show!
v e Should Vot

Ameen McKelvie

As citizens living in America. voting is the only individval power
snaranteed w0 us by the Constitution of the Unired States. - ver decision that
overns our lives was decided from @ single vore. This is why voring s s
‘exsential, becanse it changes onr way o life.

Wien an indivicual says. “I do not vore”. he is really saving. *1 don’s
care who governs my: Iife. my family and the community in which 1 live.” Ity
saying, that. he has stripped himself of a constitutional right fo hring abont
ision made by someone clse who docs
ot ave him, his family or his commumity af hest interest.

Do you know that many African Americans and some Cancasians vere
murdered and persecuted so that those of Affican descent here can have the
opportunity to vore? It states in the constitution: he right of citizens of the 175
1o vote shall not be dened or abridged by the US or by any state on account of
race. color. scx. cighteen years of age or older or previous condition of
servitude. ”

The United States has the largest prison incarceration in the world
and the majority of those prisoners are of Affican or ofher minority descent.
Many of us are directly or indircctly affected by this warchonsing of our voung
men and women in these modern day slave concentration camyps. There are
right-wing conservatives who buill their political carcer by presenting
legislation that made it mendatory 10 target people of color end the poor. T
only sway that we can stop legislators fiom getting lavs passed fo oppress us is
10 wte.

The political sysiem in the US is designed fo give citizens the chance
o exercise anthority over government and to pariicipate in the process by
holding public offices. We must be vigilant ahont who we are puting in office
hecause there are individuals wha have dheir own motives and personal
agendas. with no interest in their constinuents. If an clected official fails in his
or her obligation o serve the community. that person can he voted out just like
that person was voted in. Many individals complain about the performance of
politicians. but these are usually the same indivichials that don 1 hother o vore.

The only way that we can be avoice in s land i if we bring togeher
our economic and political resources and unite as a force. Pover concedes
nothing without a demand and @ demand is only as good as the force which
hacks it The condition of a people will not change wtil they first make an
ellort to change it themselves. hecause nobhocv will do as much for yo as yon
can o for yonrsell

Fditor’s note: Rememher that those i prison fose thir right (0 vole oven aflcr
they haxe scrved their time. xereise the irhts while you have fhem

24
T O T T T T SRR T e T P T

LWONDER

Stan Milhrood
Today | watched the sun rise from a window behind bars. And on a
distant road, not far, 1 heard the sound of cars. | wondered about the
people and how busy they might be. When they passed this prison
by, did they wonder about me? 1 know life doesn’t stop for me or
cven slow down a single bit. But from this place of wondering.
that's how it seems, | must admit. One day. Ull be back out there.
and this feeling T must share. The next time [ pass a prison by. 1'll
never just not care.

es. thero is a door before me. walls on cach side and behind me. a roof
over my head, a floor under my fect, thercfore, | am physically locked
away. But, mentally, [ am frec.

There are gates keeping me in. with razor wirc so that | can't
cscape, gun towers just in case | try. men that will shoot me without
hesitation. But. 1 am not alone. There are thousands. millions, like me.
Physically, we arc locked away, but mentally, we are frce.

Ulay in my bunk. cyes closed. listening to the rattling of cufs, kevs
and leg chains. | hear cell doors opening and closing as I begin to drift
away. No, not to slocp, but away from this place. Yes. physically. | am
focked away. but mentally,

TAM FREE

And... Do you think that when we close our eyes in wnison that others will
1ake the chance 1o sce if we're simply dreaming or if we have just taken a
moment to wnderstand what it's like 1o search for that thing which airs in
the darkness. 10 he shined upon. you the very light of @ sun. everyone
believes they can sce. Fallowing a bive sicel pain: -Michael Pate

3
The Story of Nasir Bruce Da

'Dama, I can’t believe ten years have passed since I've been in prison. I scems like
only yesterday I was seventeen years old, struggling to find my identity as a young
‘man and not get caught up in the Just-Us System that 5o many black males do for
various reasons. Now, here I am, tweaty seven years old, sil in prison for a crime
1 dida't do, but I'm poor and don't have uo money 50 it's gonna take a miracle for
me (o prove my innocence now that so many laws have been passed 1o keep the
ignorant ones of the law inside of the walls of the Just-Us prison system.

‘You see I don't blame everything in my life that has happened 1o me on
‘people. 1 do take responsiblity for my own actions, 0o. However, at a young age,
T was set up for a failure. When my mother was pregnant, she was beaten
repeatedly by my father. Then, she had me. At the teader age of onc, I was put on
a potty, with both my hands and feet tied together and left there 10 potty train me.
‘This was a pathetic atiempt by my so-called father 10 have me trained 10 use the
restroom in twenty four hours. However, that dida't work, in fact, it only made me
‘worse i later years because I peed the bed uail I was twelve years old. And had
nightmares.

AU this tie, my mother had two children, my older sister and 1. Well, 1
‘guess something just stopped working in my father's head because he gathered my
mother, sister and me in the living room, with a gun in his hand and told my
‘mother that he was gonna shoot each one of s in the head and put u in this box he
had and thea he would kill himself, 100, because he dida’t want my mother 10 leave.
him.Well, all thanks o God almighty, my mother left him shortly after this
incident and I havea't seen him since | was two or thre years old, but anyways, I

When I was five years old, 1 watched my mother’s looay boyfriend stab
my aunt to death thirty sove times and stab my dearest grandmother over tweaty
times and cut two of her fingers off. She survived. This was all because my
mother woulda't give the idiot twenty five dollars to get some dope. So he cut the
lights off of the house, cut the telephone wire and weat afler who he thought was
my mother, but it was my auntic, and my grandmother tried (0 stop him with her
ice pick she used o carry and the result is the above mentioned.

‘When I was eight years old, I was taken away from my mother along with
my three sisters and one baby brother. Because my uncle called child protective
services and made up a host of tories o try and get custody of my oldest sister and
oldest female cousin, the one whoss mother was stabbed t0 death. Something sick
‘and twisted was in his mind 10 get both the older girls. Aayways, me, my three
sisters and one brother were all placed in foster homes and shelter care homes for
two months. Me and my sister (who arc a year and a half apart, whom I call twin
because we look alike) were placed in the same sheller care home with a Mexican
family. Well, two months later, my siblings were returned to the custody of my
‘mother with my grandmother supervising. This was the order of the court
However, they (the Just-Us System) did not return me. They told my mother they
‘wanted 10 run some tesis on me and would return me in one year. She agreed and
for seven and a half ycars | was placed on various medications for my so-callzd
yper behavior and put in mncrous group homes, fosier Homes and orphanages
Onee they gave me back to my mother. the damage was already done becanse my
head was totally fucked up. A host of things happencd to me while [ was in ail
thosc different homes. When | was twelve years ofd. 1 put my right hand through
window because 1 was oulside doing ms homework and
mind and the lady of the house didn't ke that. So she fold her coward husband on
me and he came where 1 was at and got to mouthing offbu I wasn't paying: him no
altention so he got mad and threw water in my face. Amyweays. | tan aronnd the
house and punchid out a window. When I pulted my hand out blood squiried all
over fhe place. T almost dicd because | cut 4 vein. 1 stoyed in the hospital for
awhile,

When I went home to mom's. the next day afier her being given custody
of me ngain, she tried fo have me put back in the group home. but it didnt work. 1
nceded money for school clothes o | started sclfing dope. Within due fime, | was
stealing. cars and doing robberics. 1 joincd a gang and was doing things 1 never
thought | would do as a kid. Man. my life was crazy. 1 had been shot fwo times by
the time 1 was seveniecn vears old. 1 Tiad been (0 juvenile hall quite a few times. 1
‘was kicked out of high school in my tcnth grade ear for carrying a knife fo school
in my gym bag because | had several gang members from a rival gang afler me and
Uvwasn't v punk so [ wasn't unning. 1 had my nosc broke when | was fouricen
‘ears old by rival gang, members and fools jealons of me because | was young and
had a pocketfol of moncy and they didn’t have no hustlc. When | was ficen T had
my ribs broke when I was officially jumped in (0 2 gang. [ watched my female
fricnd be killed in my arms as 1 was shot. She was only fhiricen years old and |
was sixieen when rival gang members shot up the house me and my homehoys
were chillin in front of. To this day. I fecl jt should have been me.

1 stopped my motlicr from taking her own life one day when she was so
depressed tha she thought that was the only way of dealing with whatcver was
cating her up. Aftcr that. | was deing all types of dunib shit and used fo drink
hard liquor all the time. 1 pucss to escape all that was going on around me. Man,
my head was a mess.

When [ was in my last group home. I had met this Iady a1 a youth job
training facility. She became a very special person to me and helped me with 1y
life and the trials ) faced. 1 uscd fo gt counscling from her on a regular basis. She
cven talked me in 10 Irying (o gt in (0 Job Corps. 1 did try fo gct into Job Corpe
wo fimes. but they fold me o resubmit my application afler gof ofT of probation.
Teven tred (o go in to the Navy but they said that T necded a GED, Anyways, |
was artesied when | was seventeen years old for attempied murder and robbery
And this is where I've been exer since. My family has forgotien all abowt me and
my mother and father both dicd whilc | was i here. But it's going to be all right
and I°ll make it as Jong s | keep strugaling agains! all odds. And o can make it
o0, o matter what yow've been hrough. You arc still somebods. Take it from
me.. 'ye been throngh a lof b will still come ont on fop. Do fet nobody tell
YU yom Can't hecanse 2 lone s sem have a breath in your body. yon can

Strength Lost

Weakness. Let us dofine what ¢ simple word entails
Lack of strength, endurance. and flexibil s what | think when fhi
word permentes the ambiguity of my head. So many fit this description
nowadays. at least in the land | have roamed. 1 see it and feel it, day in and
day out, The grunt of onc who attempts to fft light objoct tums fo an ide:
a plan of how to make it casier. The instruments of fiving that we rely <o
heavily on arc designed to reduce physical cffort and insurc comfort. to
cator 1o the increasingly weakened majority. Why? Because those who
manufactore our so scemingly necessary “things™ are cither weak
themselves. or too knowledgeable of the unspoken commercialized truth of
this place 10 design a harsher or more challenging lifestyle. Convenicnce is
served straight from the tap 1o the point of nullifying the potential effort
that exists within. Aud. like anything clsc, it afrophics when unused, To put
it simply. cverything has_become too' fucking casy. The lizard who
strengthens its fegs with pushups, the butterfly that works the muscles in its
wings cven while stationary. the cat that stretehes its strong limbs when
arising from its tranquil slecp, what do they know that we scom to have
forgottca? Are thoy prone to strength and cxercise because their
enviromment demands it? Or do they somehow know what is inherently
00d for them? Fither way. they five an aspect of i that s often absent in
us. Abscnt and belittled. in many cases. How much further wil it go?
Imagine a human life that is bor into @ world of convenicat immebility
where physical effort is virtually unnceessary. as cvery dosice can casily be
satisfied by the push of a button o the strupgled movement of the tonm
A land of soverely overprivileged and bedridden ghuttons. Ludicrous? Giive
the virulont progress a few hundred yoars, and one might not have to
imagine it. It could be said that whatcver docen’t kill one makes. them
stronger. but it is more fikely unsaid that whatever docsnt make onc
stronger will be preforred over what docs. And weaknoss of the body often
bleads (0 weakness of the mind. What can be said of a people of this
nature? Mainly that the leaders will not have to be very strong to take
control. Those who are truly strong may be revered and follorwed, but more
likely misunderstoed and persocuted. A battle s silently being fought
Strength has only: itsclf on its side. while weakness has tact and cleverly
organized doception. Weakness will prevail. reproduce and dominate, to the
point where it will no langer be known as weakness, it as strenprh. IF it
hdsn’t happened already

.

oo
CMEUPDATE -
T | 7
Now that P'm not working at the group Lam devoting the
‘majority of jy time $0 expanding upon'Creatg Me Free.
Primarily, this means that L am trying to find a w3y for it to
support itself finapcially, and possibly even get a bifiof a salary
out of it 59/th: flon’t havé £5°gp back to doing if jpst in my

“free time?, i that.~Priag §gjnow, I was
it ket Actually;tha's still the

S, "'.«",'nm;.gm.mm"‘" e 1an

getting jnyolyed Iy arf and activist fairs, booths to

wkmdmduflmamwuk. m agking n to
bow tp publish on & more professioglfevel and to

F m""l'u"fi'..‘f..m..,."' e
ol Wil

two feet finangially, eral
dfi:;nm: om oo ooed
en}s di issues of ihould be
W
also continuigg to worklon sefting up 8 wigaps of fommunication
between aduly ’!y offenders. The twa. ts that I had
for that h, but I tinuing to
a.‘:.'..‘.:“"m«""fl"'}.éz“*\ -

Create Mg has ¢xpanding on a local level. Iam
learaing to rk” within the community and there are many

people hes seem interested in the work fhat we're putting
out. Wit}/gaoll reason. This i’ mqu and Pm not
ashamed to te i 1t's stuff that 1 beligyg in and think needs

1 dllnk we redmn?, it job!!

¢ haye an email accquny, createmefree at both
l(nflufilluuuw is always down, so if
‘mail gets hounced back to you fypm one, try the other.

CREATE ME FREE

Ve are & nowprofit ganization that gives arists and whiters in prisem 3 forum for self:
expresaion e do 2 morisd of things but our man focus I o use art and axpression to couse.
changes within hoth the indidusl and the system. Though we believe that there ane many
TLaws in the system that Lead to the problems in society. we alse beliove that complainhy
abeut them and blaming others for them s not going to Improve things. o holieve that
everyome in this wirld shondd comtribets b ths wirld and ome of the most impertant wiys
that pavple do that s by improving themselvis, mating themselves the kind of pevple thet
they wondd want the wirld populated by, e believe that pesple who ane cumently i prisem
shoudd be given the tovls to became prodictile members of saciely and we aim to aid n this
by ging inmates suppert in thei growth, We beliove that self expression is vtal to self-
cultvation and that self-culthation ls whet allows for srowth snd change to tobe place in
our seciely. e exist a5 a place where ihmates can find support dring thet imer straggles
adice when asked for and reseurces when necessary. Vo ancourage the davelopment of the
mind the accisition of knevodge and the necessly for tolermee. Ve help croste positise
changes within indidusls to effoct pesitive changes within society:

For information om avalable artwork bock insues or amything else, ctact.

Kathom
PO Bex 26044
Tucsen AZ 857266044

Iam the forgotten
Locked away in a box
Punishment from the minds of men
Them wanting me to be who I'm not
1am the sins of my fathers
A child of the lost
To hear my voice no one bothers
Put away in a pen, silenced at all costs
Ihear curses from the mouths of men
As they make money from my mistake
Their pockets get fat as they sit back and grin
Stirring up torment and pain for me
As much as they can make
Through their soulless eyes
They can only see my face
As they sit during trials
To decide my rightful place
Now I sit in a box
1 am who I am again
T'won’t be who I'm not
Iam the forgotten

-Steve

Do not forget the people who are living out the degradation
of a punishment-focused society!
Support Create Me Free and the people that we assist.

Donations are always needed

8o, Chizago ASC Zine Distro
Publisher ard Cistrbuior
P.0. Box 721
Homenood, L 60450